Building and maintaining meaningful relationships requires learned skills, effort and time. Would you like to have more meaningful friendships in your life? Who would say no! Great friendships are what adds real value and meaning to our human existence
Why do some people attract others to them like a magnet? The truth is these magnetic traits are more learned and developed than they are inherited. Building your circle of friends and maintaining meaningful relationships will not just happen – you have to make it happen with an investment of your time and effort.
I recently picked up a great book written by John C. Maxwell and Les Parrot called 25 Ways to Win with People. I am certain you will benefit from their suggestions. I selected 13 points that I thought were extremely useful that I would like to share with you.
1) Always remember you are a wonderful person with interesting life stories and experiences to share with others. You must believe that you are a person people want to know. People want to be surrounded by people who make them feel good – so smile, be happy, and be positive. Begin by simply giving people the gift of happiness.
2) Give people sincere praise and affirmation. Everyone wants to feel important and worthwhile. Sincere compliments will affirm a person’s actions and dreams, and will resonate in their hearts. Also give your compliments in front of other people rather than in privacy. Turning a compliment public gives it more value.
3) Look for opportunities to lift people up with words of encouragement.
4) Few things will bond people together like shared experiences and memories. Unfortunately, most people make the mistake of not leading their lives; they wait for memorable experiences to just happen. To build relationships requires taking the time and effort to plan events and activities you can do together. You must be proactive to share experiences with others and make bonding memories.
5) Keep your focus outward rather than inward by listening to people with your heart. Rather than placing your priority on your reply and expressing your ideas, focus on what the other person is saying. Listen to gain a true understanding of their thoughts and feelings. Search for an understanding as to why they think as the do.
6) Focus the conversation on his or her life story – their interests, successes, uniqueness; whatever they hold close to their heart. Inquire and show a sincere interest in the things that are important to them; show them you truly care.
7) It takes a great deal of trust for people to share their dreams with you. Consider it a gift if another person is willing to share their dreams. Always remember dreams are at the center of the soul; you must choose the right words to inspire and lift them up. You will encourage friendship when you show an interest in learning about others dreams and letting them know you value them.
8) Give people your very best. It is natural to value people who make us feel important. Anything you do with another person can be conveyed into making them feel important if you give them your very best. Maybe it’s a simple phone call or email to let them know you were thinking about them, a framed picture of a special moment shared together, a helping hand when they need assistance. Most moments in life can only make us feel special if you take the time and effort to give people your very best.
9) Share intimate information about your feelings, opinions, intellectual ideas, and inner thoughts. Sharing intimate information makes people feel special; it is a special act of inclusion that invites others into your life.
10) Add value to other people’s lives by doing things for them that they cannot do for themselves; offer support and opportunities where they need help to succeed. Take them places where they cannot go on their own. Open their mind to new ideas.
11) In order for others to be drawn toward you – you must always assume the best in others actions. See another’s actions from their perspective; it will help you to withhold judgment.
12) Communicate often. Make a list of the people most important in your life and commit your time and effort to communicate with the people on your list. It is impossible to build or maintain friendships without frequent communication.
13) Your ultimate goal is to help people win at something that is important to them. When you believe in someone, you stimulate them and give them energy; you help to create an atmosphere where they can win. There is nothing more powerful than giving others hope for a better future.
Building and maintaining meaningful relationships is at the heart of living a life which flourishes in happiness. It will not just happen but require a continuous investment of time and effort. The good news is the secrets of making and maintaining valuable friendships are skills you can readily learn; they are within the reach of anyone who wants to master them.
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